television is nothing like a good read, for it is so forgettable. there are too many detractors these days. they are also your friends. i am angry with how i am as gutless as i am spineless. nobody can make you feel in a particular way unless you allow them to. perhaps we price the opinions of others too much. the problem with contentment is settling for very little. jealousy is the most terrible of them all. m e d i o c r i t y is a dirty word. we judge too much. we earn too little. i've gotten physically sick with how i want so much. it's sad and a little frightening, the people you knew. speculation is pointless. my stomach is churning, and i know it's because i'm afraid of what you think. i just suck at this. the end.

it's funny how my thoughts come out like little quotes, i cannot seem to write a coherent paragraph. still, with two weeks to being twenty-four, i think it's time to lay this to rest. a good time surely, with my education behind me, a trip to the beaches soon and a brand new life ahead. and perhaps because i needed a place to kill my ugly thoughts and the part of me i didn't like which grew throughout my university days. the bitter grudges i held and who i never became. there isn't a better time, the first day of the month. it's been a good run. but there just doesn't seem much that could be written about that cannot be let go, or cared less about.

and so, we came to the end.